To Boldly Go Where No Ministry Has Gone Before...

Dateline: Baltimore, MD.

GGWO stunned the Protestant world by taking to the skies with it's new satellite "Greater Grace One" this week. The satellite is meant to bring the Christian ministry "into the, ahhh, uhm, awesome spacey opportunites, and ahhhh, whatnot." said Pastor Thomas Shallow. "We feel it's just an awesome time to, ahhh, um, just love up the aliens and such. Ahuuwwmmmaaah..."

When confronted with the fact that no extraterrestrials have ever been found, or even communicated with, Head Senior Potentate For Life Carl H. Stevens responded, "Have you ever listened to Grace Hour? We've got precious invidivuals from WAY out there calling every day!" Pastor Shitbelly (nicknamed "The Loins of Africa" by his fellow pastors) added, "Yes. We're trying to open up new ministries. This satellite is a fishhook for the heavens!" Asked about the normal use of satellites to send signals around the world, Shitbelly stated flatly, "Why would we need to send the signal around the world? Everyone can just come to Baltimore and be right smack dab in the will of God. But the aliens don't know this truth. We're sending this megaphone into the sky to help precious awesome E.T. hearts get right with God's spatial, temporal, and georgraphical will!"

Only time will tell if the multibillion dollar effort will pay off.