The Truth About The Pope...

Stevens The Healer?

People Loving on Hot Carl...

Here's a quote:

"You and Barbara are always on our hearts and in
our, just, in our BEING, our very beings!"

Click here to listen to the clip

For Those Who Have Been Hurt And Abused By Stevens

We Feel Your Pain...

...and we applaud you!

The Man Should Not Be Aloud On TV or Radio. But...?

Will HE ever leave the stage?

Only in a straitjacket!

Tokin' It Up With The King...

There's a King who wants you to have it your way...

The Pope needs a feeding tube?

Why Are These People Still In The News?

Lust and Fags, where is Fred Phelps when we really need him?

You Fools Think That Stevens Is bad? Check Out Fred Phelps At Godhatesfags.com

If God hates fags then why do they have two interracial boys holding hands?

Really listen to this fools messages and then try and put Stevens crap into perspective!
Check him out Godhatesfags.com
Worth at least a good laugh or two!

What Really Goes On Under The Holy Robes...

Due to graphic content, this photo has been altered...

Ever Wonder What's Going On Under The Podium?

HAPPY FEET!!

We Sincerely Mean It...No Really We do!

We at Liquidwaves would like to express our deepest, and sincerest apologies to anyone who may have been offended over any post, past or current that is on our site…

We Here At Liquid Waves Would Like To Wish You A Happy Easter!

Welcome...Step Right Up!

Takin' A Dump Wit' Da King

Wakin' Up Wit' Tha Stevens!!

The Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch...

Click here to hear the King sing it!

Carls Dirty Little Secret!

He really does want Trigger to nibble at his Twopay...


AUDIO COMING SOON...

On DA Web Again, Ah Jus' Can't Wait Ta Git On Da Web Again...

Only one thing can be said...

Do I Really Need A Real Reason To Make Fun of Stevens...As Long As It's Not The Pope Right?

Stevens Is Comin' To Town...

Sing or recite Stevens 7 Principles from Proverbs...

FOX NEWS ALERT!!!

The Pope is back home and can speak...Praise Mary!



Don't throw me down clark...


The fear that HE wouldn't be home for Easter was over blown.

The Pope had this to say, "Eat The Bread Bitch!"

What Is The Deaf Woman In the Bubble Up To Now?

I love when Stevens is on TV, how quickly the Deaf woman in the bubble tries to keep up with his Sermons. What's Stevens talking about now....?

What It Means To Get The F' Outa Dodge!

The Hypocrisy of Hypocrites!

Am I therefore become your

enemy, because I tell you the truth?

-Galatians 4:16

Out of all my fans and their mail sent in, most correspondence tends to be encouraging and uplifting, especially when they perceive that it is Stevens that is being made fun of, but every once in a blue moon, even I get the occasional hate mail. I do find it strange that I could commentate on pretty much any subject, any topic without any restraint or recourse at all, no creed, way of life or taboo is off limits as long as Stevens is in the midst and being made fun of. Well, I have found one bit of subject matter that throughout my quibbles has sparked heated debate and really gotten stuck in many peoples’ craw. And that, my friends, is the subject of the Pope. Look below for a sample of the kind of venom being spewed my way in regards to issue at hand…

At 7:13 PM, Anonymous said...

“Your comments about the Pope suck! Please limit yourself to Carl H. Stevens, Jr. HE is worthy of your stupid mockery not the lovely Bishop of Rome asshole!”

Now, normally I might respond kindly to something like how my comments (whatever they might be at any given moment) suck, or terms like “your stupid mockery,” or even the prospect of being asked to limit myself in any way, but the truth is, today I feel rather uppity and decided to tackle a subject totally uncharacteristic of the normal! “Lovely Bishop of Rome” eh? We’ll see about that!

A Pope, A Pope-Mobile And A Pile A Poop!

Rv:2:6: But this thou hast, that thou hatest

the deeds of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate.

Rv:2:15: So hast thou also them that hold the

doctrine of the Nicolaitans, which thing I hate.

-Revelations 2:6 and 15

For the record, I’m not against the man personally, what I am against however is the fact a bunch of morons decided to try and keep his corpse alive for the past 25 years! I mean, damn it, the only time you know he’s alive is when the wind blows and you see his upper lip jostle about. It’s getting to the point where I truly feel that The Pope has, in fact, died and they are just propping him up in front of the window and playing a recording of some vile filth that he spoke 30 years back! When you get to the point where you can’t even speak any more it’s time to throw in the mortal coil and just fucking die! See now Stevens and the pope both have this in common; they are both getting into the slurred speech arena and frankly, their shit just doesn’t make sense any more! It’s time to go, son!

I love checking out the various Pope web rings and web pages that litter the Internet. I love how most of their historical record of information ends around 1984; after that time it’s just bits and pieces of news and footage with some pictures and other such things that definitely don’t convince me that the man is still conscious. I’m telling you, when the assignation attempt took place, it was no attempt my friends! The shooter really did take the man out and he’s just been touted around to make it look like he’s still alive! The thing is if you look on the CNN web page about the life and times of the Pope there are quotes, made only by the Pope’s secretaries – none by him. Or at least none that made much sense, that is! This is like Stevens; they should not let him back onto the radio. I don’t care if he founded it or the world itself; keep him off the damn radio when he’s medicated! There is nothing like hearing men pushed passed their prime (due to thoughts of godhood), taking prescription medication, and then trying to speak on live radio/TV. It’s just not right folks!

I’ve heard of the Bat-Mobile, but damn, I have to ask… What the hell is the Pope-mobile anyway? No, really. What exactly is it? I’ll tell you what it is folks, it’s nothing more than a bulletproof, glorified golf cart that they commandeered for use as a makeshift hearse! I get no greater joy than watching that corpse known as Pope John Paul being touted around town in the damn thing. Let’s be honest, up front, and truthful folks; other than to the hospital or morgue where does he really have to go? Truthfully, other than that last final trek to hospital for just one last ride around town, where else does this man have to be? It’s like every now and then, he wakes up, and in a groggy-tone, tells everyone to prepare the Pope-mobile today because he’s got some shit to do! It’s like Stevens, where else does he have to be? I say put him in this little ready room like on Star Trek, tell him it’s Star Date 2012 and then tell him to shut the hell up just before locking the door and leaving him all alone!

Now back to the pope for moment. It comes to the point where you have to stop and wonder – you really do – because I keep hearing the faithful news folks who are covering the man 24/7 say things like, “He’s had to cut back on his daily activities.” What “daily activities?” The man gets dressed and gets wheeled to the window where he proceeds to say something along the lines of “God bless” in his native tongue and wave his hand to and fro! And you know damn well he ain’t wearing any pants while he’s at the window, smiling like he just shit himself. I see it like this; they prop him up there, put on his little hat that is about 4 feet tall, they place it on his head to keep his scalp warm and use masking tape at the back of his head to tape the fucker down, then they put the top part of his garb on cover his chest neck, breast and shoulders with the vestments so he don’t catch cold (and so folks don’t think he’s totally out of it like he really is), then from the window sill down he’s butt naked. Just think of that and then remember the time he let the doves go from that window stage of his! If he is that far gone, it’s time to just pull the plug and let the man finally die! Why do they feel the need to hold on to a walking corpse for one more day? Don’t get me wrong I understand why he himself doesn’t want to die – I wouldn’t want to either, especially if the world treated me like god on earth! Sure, Stevens has called himself “God’s Man” and other such things, but let me know when he starts having people kiss his ring in a manner of worship. Being called God’s Man is a far cry from “Holy Father!” The two just don’t add up, so you can take your god’s as you see them. People get mad at me for making fun of the ‘lovely bishop of Rome’ who out and out calls himself god, and says he’s our mediator between us and Christ, so quite frankly the lovely bishop of Rome can kiss my everlasting ass sideways!

Personally, the Pope needs to pack up his shit and get the fuck out of Dodge. It’s like those old Westerns, when Marshal Matt Dillon used to tell people: “time to get the fuck-outta-Dodge City, son!” OK, so he never said it exactly like that, but I in my head he always did! There really is nothing better than telling someone to get the fuck-out-of-Dodge anyways, so when it comes to leaving town the Pope is on his last leg! I’m a true believe of when it’s time to go, get up gracefully and just do it, don’t try and linger around like a bad fart! This applies to Stevens as well; it’s time to move on, not because a bunch of losers on the Internet say so, but because your shit just doesn’t make sense any more, old man! On a normal class/tape/sermon, people should be able to pick out more than 3 lines of communication and not have to weed through 45 minutes of stupid-ass stories about your dogs and how you named them; God didn’t inspire you to name them, Carl, your meds did that!

I want to talk about this getting the fuck out of dodge thing just a bit more. See, you had people like Johnny Carson who knew they were getting old and getting useless so they decided to leave while they were on top, this was the right thing to do. Now take someone like Bill Cosby, when his show ended, he went away until later he found something else that he could do that would work; when that is over, he’ll go away. What I mean is unless you follow politics you wouldn’t know Bill was back doing anything worthwhile. There are so many people who just knew when to call it quits; Bob Hope was not one of these people! I’m sorry Bob hope was funny about 50 years ago, but there is nothing funny about seeing him all glass eyed and high talking about “Thanks for the memories! Yeah thanks for the Memories asshole – a half dead bloated, red puffy eyed motherfucker being wheeled around in his wheel chair waving to the media only because he didn’t know when to get the fuck out of Dodge!

Also Check out our other posts about the Pope...
-Choose You This Day
-Mother Angelica...On Crack?
-Performance Art At The Vatican?

More Hate Mail...

Who Comes Up With This Stuff....Because It's Funny! You Could Even Put Stevens Into These and They Work!

THE 52 FUNNIEST THINGS ABOUT THE UPCOMING DEATH OF THE POPE

By Matt Taibbi

52.Pope pisses himself just before the end; gets all over nurse.

51.After death, saggy, furry tits of dead Pope begin inexorable process of melting away into nothingness, like coldest of Sno-cones under faintest of suns.

50.Pope survives just long enough to be acquired by Isiah Thomas for Stephon Marbury, 2005 #1 pick and cash considerations. "We feel like we've made ourselves younger and more competitive," Thomas says.

49.After beating for the last time, Pope's heart sits there like a piece of hamburger.

48.Whole world waiting until the last minute for a sudden improvement of his condition. Long lines of girls in the Philippines kneeling and praying. Catholics everywhere with ears pressed to radios, transfixed. Pope gives one last groan, spits, dies.

47.Upon death, Pope's face frozen in sickening smile, eyes wide open and teeth exposed, like a baboon.

46.Beetles eating Pope's dead brains.

45.Pope departs Earth at a time when Hitch is top-grossing movie in the world.

44.Gurgling sound during embalming process; real fluids in dead Pope's body sucked out into jars.

43.POV Dead Pope: Last glimpse of overcast Italian sky as coffin lid closes for last time.

42.Get used to that quiet sound.

41.Humming old Polish folk song in there. That kills three minutes.

40.Humming it again, this time getting the words right. Another three minutes.

39.Can't move. Can't reach penis.

38.Somebody taking my job. My job!

37.Getting a little stuffy.

36.Naming all the different types of fish. Flounder, halibut, perch, goldfish, basking shark...no, do the sharks separately...really stuffy in here, gar, swordfish, manta ray, eels... No, don't think about eels. Eels are scary. Boy, is it dark in here. Four minutes gone by.

35.Doctor applies fingers to neck to check expiring Pope's pulse. Pope's ear falls off.

34.In heaven, Pope keeps wrapping cars around telephone poles.

33.Silverfish pops out of dead Pope's vestment for a moment, immediately ducks back in.

32.Priest who administers last rites to Pope excitedly calls mother afterward to tell her how well it went.

31.Dead Pope, still with baboon face, wheeled through corridors of Gemelli Polyclinic in Rome, learns answer to Great Mystery.

30.Michael Jackson too broke to buy Pope's bones.

29.New Pope inevitably ambitious cleric burning with earthly vigor and secret desire to undo dead Pope's legacy.

28.Bears everywhere shitting in woods.

27.We'll never get to hear his hilarious post-tracheotomy rendition of "Come on Eileen."

26.Pope recovers and survives until 2009; New York Press columnist Matt Taibbi beheaded by passing garbage truck, March 2, 2005.

25.LexisNexis search on phrase "the inner workings of the Vatican are shrouded in mystery" temporarily crashes system; Eric Alterman unable to search for press references to "What Liberal Media?" for 37 consecutive hours.

24.Pope spends last hours surrounded by cardinals who stand glaring at him with folded arms, silently reminding him of the political necessity of clinging to life.

23.Doctors examining the body discover that the Pope was not only a woman, but also Hitler.

22.Mankind scrambles to choose new leader of inflexible, sexually morbid institutional anachronism; heretofore anonymous bureaucrat will instantly be celebrated as world's holiest man as he travels to AIDS-stricken Africa to denounce the use of condoms.

21.Telltale white smoke emitting from Vatican chimneys announces a) choice of new Pope, and b) the fiery death of the 5000 back issues of Manscape and Hung Inches that had accumulated in the Vatican lobby.

20.Hall and Oates mulling comeback.

19.To the end, the Pope could only think of the poor and the downtrodden.

18.When he died, he stopped thinking of the poor and the downtrodden, and his face was frozen in that baboon smile, and he thought of nothing at all.

17.In his last days, the Pope was in tremendous pain.

16.NBC Nightly News intern pulls wrong tape from drawer full of long-ago archived video obits; world thinks Boris Yeltsin has died, wonders why Brian Williams is calling him an "inspirational spiritual leader."

15.Williams, after broadcast: "Who's Boris Yeltsin?"

14.Matt Lauer to Williams: "He wrote the Contract for America."

13.Just before death, Pope sits up in his bed, shrieks, his body bursts into flames; everyone runs from the room.

12.Sequoia, birch, maple, willow, palm, oak, pine, fir, maple—No, wait, I said maple already...

11.Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal...

10.You dirty rat. You dirty, double-crossing rat... Proxima estacion: Tibidabo. Tenga cuidado de las puertas deslizantes... It means woods and blanche means white, so the two together mean white woods... L'état— c'est moi! Don't think about eels, don't think about eels...

9.Bush on the tragic event: "Our thoughts and prayers go out to this great man and all of his many children."

8.Bush continued: "He touched all of us in places no one else could reach."

7. According to ancient tradition, the slamming shut of the Bronze Door in St. Peter's Square announces the death of the Pope.

6.Normal Vatican schedule closes that door at 8 p.m. every night and reopens it in the morning.

5.According to numerous reports, if the Pope dies at night this time, no one will know what to do. (This is not a joke.)

4.In 1958, reporters paid off Pope Pius XII's physician to throw open the hospital room window when the Pope died.

3.When a monsignor threw the window open to get some air, the Pope's death was erroneously reported all over the world.

2.This is what happens when weird old men in dresses communicate with the world with doors and chimneys.

1.Throw a marble at the dead Pope's head. Bonk!